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cynical_moose

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[Apr. 19th, 2004|10:03 pm]
cynical_moose
Blank journals are depressing, so I'm going to add something to make your day feel even worse. I hope that this will be my first and last post.

People tend to ask me for a credo, but they never call it that. In case anybody actually wants to read it, it comes with a health warning. See your nearest cigarette packet for the wording.

I believe that life is pain (and conversely, that pain is life). Happiness is a numbing of that pain, love a way to ease it. Equally, breaking up is painful because the protective cushion you have formed departs and you fall back to what you actually are. Some find relief by inflicting pain on others - others ease the suffering through revelling in pain themselves.

Somebody once tried to convince me that the opposite was true. I can't believe it, though. We don't have a direct way of telling, but it's reasonable to assume that the world will depart little from type, and so as there is lots of suffering and less happiness, pessimism is therefore justified.

So what do we do about it? Find somebody to love? Try the chemical painkillers available? Close up on ourselves?

Or just accept it, shuffle on, and get on with our lives.
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[User Picture]From: fallensnowdrop
2004-04-20 12:19 am (UTC)
*deep intake of breath*

Blank journals are depressing, so I'm going to add something to make your day feel even worse. I hope that this will be my first and last post.

Or they can be incredibly beautiful. Blank journals for me, at least paper ones, conjure up images of people out there living, too busy to write, enjoying & savouring each moment in the present. I can't do that though - I need the memories to keep me going & I hope (perhaps wish?) that one day I'll get to that stage where the past doesn't matter so much - but I do not know.

Of course, the converse could be one who can no longer write, through dehabilitating illness. Through depression & through death. & there's something sad, almost beautiful in its morbidness, but definitely no envy, or longing there.

As for first/last post, only if you truly don't want to write, for yourself. By utilitarianism (!!) I like reading your writing, Alex wants to get to know you. Hence writing, if *you* want to (you're the most important person in your life, as without you, it ceases to exist) no one loses, all gain. Hurrah!

People tend to ask me for a credo, but they never call it that. In case anybody actually wants to read it, it comes with a health warning. See your nearest cigarette packet for the wording.


I don't know... for some reason Iain's *always* reads 'lowers sperm count & damages fertility' or the like. By the laws of probability I believe this somewhat unlikely if down to chance & *swear* that he selects the packs accordingly just to have something to show & tell at parties ;)

I believe that life is pain (and conversely, that pain is life). Happiness is a numbing of that pain, love a way to ease it.

:)

Equally, breaking up is painful because the protective cushion you have formed departs and you fall back to what you actually are.

Yes - & falling from the stratosphere is more painful than from the first floor. But also no - as in ceasing to exist as partners forming a unit (as I believe you mean) doesn't have to come under a phrase so harsh as 'breaking up'. It's somewhat onomatopoeic, to 'break' in its original context. But to separate doesn't necessarily mean there has to be copious pain, & unsmoothed edges that will continue to cut until worn down (slowly) by soft flesh, soft emotions. It's not like how water erodes a stone, damaging itself for years before the pain heals. When it is painful, though, is when you believe that it will last & you're sure of that until the day, but realise that the other wasn't. That - that is the real pain. & I'd say that's more 'unrequited love', albeit preceded by real love, than breaking up itself.

Some find relief by inflicting pain on others - others ease the suffering through revelling in pain themselves.


This is a question that has plagued me for some time. Is someone who harms themselves less 'sane' or 'rational' than a sadist?

And so as there is lots of suffering and less happiness, pessimism is therefore justified.

Pessimism is never justified, if one realises that it is. On the other hand, what one regards as realism might be judged by others to be pessimism & that's fine - but once one's outlook on the world is to oneself pessimism, then something is gravely wrong.

So what do we do about it? Find somebody to love? Try the chemical painkillers available? Close up on ourselves?


The first. If not possible, the second (though I shall refrain from my Prozac over-prescription rant). The third - no. Because the pain it causes oneself is indescribably great. & the biggest tragedy is that you can't see it yourself.

Or just accept it, shuffle on, and get on with our lives.

Not that either. Life is but a mean of doing things, achieving things if so you want. Not something to stumble through.

I was there thinking that with some time we could make you into an un-cynical moose, for *your* benefit. To be happier with life & yourself et al. I hope that it does work :)

See you soon. Have a good day, I love you (should I not type this as you're viewing through the network? lol)


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[User Picture]From: fallensnowdrop
2004-04-20 12:20 am (UTC)
Ooops - I missed an / in a tag. Remind me not to attempt to format, my memory isn't up to it!
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[User Picture]From: clementinecloud
2004-04-20 05:22 am (UTC)
So, your argument:
i) The world will depart little from type
ii) There is lots of suffering and less happiness
iii) So suffering is typical
iv) So pain is the natural state.

Well, it's nice and logical etc., but I do find it pessimistic. In particular, I disagree with (ii).

Oh, of course the world is rife with suffering. And the little gems and gestures that can make life special aren't exactly jumping up and down like little leprechauns waiting to be spotted. But happiness? That can be everywhere. The sight of sunlight refracted in dew, or the clearest rainbow you've ever seen landing in the field right next to you. A smile from a total stranger. Chatting to a kid sitting next to you at a funfair, who then decides you're such an amazing person they want to go home with you - cue tantrum. Though the parents weren't that happy :)

An uncountable infinity of tumbling pleasures, both as obvious and as hard to see as a sprouting tree in a forest. My definition of pessimism isn't someone who's being 'overly realist'. It's someone who only sees half the world.

Note: As to the cure, I strongly recommend finding someone to love. At least, it worked for me - I used to think both happiness and pain were for 'other people'. Chemical concoctions are a waste of time, however.

So do you agree with a single word I've said?
*Laughs*
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